Hey You, Blog. It's Me Again.

So I've been really sucking at this whole "writing in my blog more often" idea. I gave it a shot with my February 25 post, but now it just sticks out like a sixth thumb; a crabgrass post amongst redwoods. The content is also incredibly random to boot. I thought shorter posts would be the answer to perpetuate a sort of eager and yet lax mindset that would take action on the keyboard, but truthfully, it may just be writer's block that I'm experiencing. Like I've mentioned before, I write a TON (with the exception of the past month) but rarely post because of the my acute cognizance with context collapse. These concerns have normally been dismissible with the amount of traffic my site receives (or lack thereof, exception of course on days that I post) but I checked as of lately and since February 25, I have what appears a steady pattern of traffic every couple days:

I find this odd when 99% of my traffic only came on days I post. Instead, the above shows April 16 w/11 views, April 17 w/17 views, April 28 w/15 views, and 10 views April 29-May 5. Note the gaps of NO traffic in between. What's going on? If someone is reading my blog, REVEAL YOURSELF <3

My first ever post, The Ultimate Translation of Insanity, was about the purpose and goal of my blog singing to the tune of any other human being's heartstrings, mayyyn, so seeing the random and mysterious traffic has my heart all a flutter! If ya'll speak, I'll deliver. Pinky promise with a kiss and a boop.

(Courtesy of a new friend of mine)

Well, I'm up in 3.5 hours for the Susan G. Komen for a Cure 5k at Mall of America. This is following a day of having been up for 27 consecutive hours, although 110% worth it.

Happy Mother's Day ya'll! My mom and I are doing the 5k in memory of her best friend Lynn who just passed away from breast cancer. Lynn's mom, sister, and close friends will all be there, so it should be a very emotional day, as I expect it to be for all other participants. Friends, take this time to cherish and give thanks to God for your health and youth which we sometimes take for granted!

Good night lovely betches.

(Signing off listening to Blink-182's newest EP, Dogs Eating Dogs. LISTEN TO DIS SHYT. Their sound seems to have evolved to one very similar to AVA's, but I'm sort of okay with it. Wouldn't mind some Dammit-esqe tunes still. Nonetheless, please enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD4-BhTMBIM&list=PLQTXWEpkVwKdQyBdcV6VK4SnFZrqM3Kil
Did I mention I just started guitar lessons and am learning to play Blink? Life is goo-ooood.)

Late Night Confessions

So I was hardcore dancing in my room (e.g. hip-twerking, bed-bouncing, head-bobbing, bernie-ing) until I imagined a secret camera recording me, placed there by someone who intends to use it as blackmail. I legitimately became very self-conscious and have felt awkward ever since.

Loss of Innocence

What if I told you
I didn’t want you to be so forward
That the anticipation of the wait
Is really all I want for now.
What if I told you
I don’t have the strength to say no
But I once did
Yet sadly, you would never know.
Even more so,
If I said can we backtrack please?
It’d be too late for the true impression
The one I try and hold for God
The one I pray to keep and not release
But I’m weak right now
Not quite who I want to represent
So please,
Let’s be like children
Knowing how we feel but saving it for later
Slowly caring more and more
Letting the love grow.
If you have no intentions of this
Or innocence to sow
Then please
Let me go.

Winter Feelings

Awe

Eyes nestled

Behind soft lids

I let the story in

A gasp of roaring silence

Fills the crevices

I’m captured

In a snowglobe

Safe as can be

With the glass above me

No one can shake

This tangible bliss

That only exists

In this perfect

Sphere.

My utopia

Free of flaws

And faulty laws

Fake happiness

And frigid hearts

My soul smiles

For I am my only judge

No one can steal

this vision so real

That eyes could not comprehend

There are no smudges on my sky

Or cracks to cause

A leakage of

Perfection.

My senses so keen

To what’s around me

But words do not

Do justice

I’m living in

A book of braille

That tells of a girl who found

Heaven on earth

And you cannot read

Or understand

Because you can’t feel

Through the pages of dots

Where I breathe

Now.

Just thought I'd share one of my favorite poems I've written. Don't really have any other words coming to me right now.