"Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3-4)
To get to the point briefly, part of this humbling ourselves like children is praying in a children's fashion - without doubt and with unsubdued love and faith. No need for fancy lingo and intricate explanations; pray with simplicity. Matthew 7:7 says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
Lately I had been praying fervently for God to address my conflict discussed in my post "Looking to Leave the Box." I had basically concluded that for financial and academic reasons, as well as struggles with pride in my independence and a smitten affection for not playing by the rules, I would be "leaving the box" after this spring semester. I should have known that my discomfort with the issue and hence quotational phrase for it was a foreshadowing sign that I did not really want to do so. This is because you can't put a price sticker or a "worth the money" sticker on any person's forehead. In other words, it felt like I would be leaving family, and I knew that. So, I prayed. A lot. Talked to my mom about it, even my one-time hair stylist at the beauty salon. Every time it felt like everything I was saying sounded great and logical on paper, but with the words in the air and out of my mouth, it sounded more like a half-hearted monologue.
I prayed yesterday having finished the book, and asked with pleasant simplicity to simply know the answer; just have it come to me and that in my heart I would know it was the right answer. Well, I was lying in bed all of 30 minutes ago when it clicked. An epiphany that resonated through an uncomplicated smile:
I don't want to leave the box.
And it's not a box, it's a present.